Toddler Potty Training FAQ Best Tools , Setbacks and Tips
When we got news of the stay home order a couple of weeks ago, I polled you guys and many of you said you will use this time to potty train. What better time to practice when you have a potty easily accessible and zero social plans right? There were so many great questions about our potty training experience. I thought we’d answer all your FAQs. There is also a potty training highlight from when we trained Kai on my Instagram profile. I hope this helps you in your exciting journey!
Before training
What’s your best advice before starting? I think there are a lot of resources out there that makes potty training sound like it’s a 72 hour and done deal. I felt like we completely failed when that wasn’t the reality of us. It’s important to go into it with the expectation of the long game. There will be set back, nighttime training, and a lot of hiccups on the way. It takes time to re-enforce. As long as we understand it’s not an overnight thing for most people, we can prepare to be patient.
What's the best age to start? For us, it was between the age of 2-3. Kai was mature enough to understand what we were trying to teach her. I feel like you can start between 2-3 and some will not be ready until 4 which is perfectly okay! Every child is so different and don’t give up if they seem interested. It’s much easier to go through the process when the child is ready and curious!
Is there a too soon? There is no perfect age to start potty training. I have seen kids who are potty trained between 18-24 months. It really depends on each child and how ready they are to ditch the diapers. It’s a commitment on the parent side too. I wouldn’t rush into it and also remember not to compare your process with another family’s. Many children go into 2-3 yr old preschool classes working on potty training. By the end of the year many would have successfully trained. I also think seeing others in the class do it fosters curiosities. It can be just that little nudge your kiddos needs to get interested in potty training enough.
When do you know if your toddler is ready to be trained? Every child is so different. My mother in law taught preschool for 27 years (2-3 yr olds) and has seen plenty of kiddos enter and leave her class in diapers. The best tip she gave me while potty training is that it will come more naturally when the child is ready. You can tell by their curiosity about the potty, their willingness to communicate, hiding to do the deed or telling you they did (basically awareness). It's earlier or later depending on your child and don't feel bad or compare your timeline.
How long did it take Kai to get used to the toilet? Was she scared? We really took our time with potty training. I believe it's all about setting your expectation that it's long game. I used to feel like I failed when looking at the "3 days to potty train" guides. For us it was more like 6 month. She needed to be eased into every step. The flush shared her, she didn't want to fall in the toilet, we had to be in the room, you name it, she was scared of it. I think having her involved in every step helped make it more familiar. She even had the potty sitting in her room for 2 months for her to explore before we even started showing her how to use it.
My child can tell me he has a dirty diaper but not interested in trying to go in the toilet. Should we start potty training? Being able to tell you that they have a dirty diaper is a sign they may be ready. I say it does not hurt to try and introduce the potty to them.
What training potties did you use? Before we introduced Kai to the big potty, we placed this OXO Potty Chair in her room and the living room so that she got used to seeing the potty. I really believe in letting her get to know every part of it, play with it and get used to sitting on it before formally training. This potty chair is so great because you can keep the kiddo involved at every stage. I think having her pick out the color of the potty, have a say in where it goes, when she successfully goes, having her clean the potty with me, keeps her a part of the process. She took pride in seeing “her potty” taken care of.
We then moved to the big potty and had so much success with using the OXO Potty Seat with Kai. This seat fits over any toilet seat and promotes proper potty posture. It has handles on the side which Kai used to help balance herself. We love how compact it is so it can easily be stored in our bathroom. We still have Kai use wipes to wipe herself so that it’s gentler on her. We have this OXO Wipe Dispenser which was convenient to pull with one hand and wipe! To get herself onto the Potty Seat, we had the OXO Step Stool that was the perfect size for Kai to use. It has handles that she was able to use and move over to the sink to wash her hands after.
What did you use while out? Long story short, after a shocking horrible port-a-potty experience, we ALWAYS travel with the OXO Good Grips® Tot 2-in-1 Go Potty. I just stash it in the car and we either use it to make big size potties kid friendly or just go number 1 in the car right into the disposable bag. This has saved us so many times on road trips when nature calls urgently.
During training
What is the most helpful tip that you would say? My son took 6 months to train. I would say to lower expectations and don't measure yourself based on other children's timeline. Someone once told me "your kid won't go to college in diapers" so just relax and take it one step at a time.
What Reward system did you use? Some find that sticker charts worked, or candy rewards worked best for them. Find something that your child is motivated by. We always made a big deal every time she went in the potty and celebrated so she knew how proud we were of her. In the beginning we made the rewards too big - like a trip to the carousel if she collected 7 stickers and she would just tantrum over it. For us, a tiny little non candy reward worked well. Like a stamp on the hand, a little Shopkin toy or something like that. Overall, positive reinforcement goes a long way!
Road trip tips? Make sure to go before you leave the house no matter how short the trip may be (i.e. to the grocery store). For longer road trips, we always brought along our trusted OXO Travel Potty Chair and kept extra plastic bags. We wrapped the seat with the plastic bag and tied it up once she went to the potty. It was also easier to pull over anywhere instead of having to find a pit stop with a clean restroom!
How do you get your toddler to go number 2 in the toilet? She only will do it in her nappy.This is super common! I would break it down into several steps. It's okay for them to ask for a diaper and still go number 2 but ask them to do the deed in the bathroom. Next move to sitting on the potty with diaper on for number 2. Some mamas have suggested cutting a hole in the diaper for the next step. Consistency is the key and be patient with each other!
How many accidents are too many? Once a child is 'fully' potty trained, expect that there will be occasional accidents. When you're just starting out, there will be lots of accidents. If you're noticing over the course of several days that the accidents aren't lessening, it may mean they are not ready. Set a timer for every hour to remind them to try and go potty. They will probably say they do not need to go but make sure they try and be consistent.
Setbacks and nighttime
My daughter had a setback after baby #2. Any tips on how to keep kids on track after big life changes? Bringing a baby home is a huge change for the little ones. Kai had similar set backs. We just lowered the pressure and set zero expectations for the first few months. I think it's one of the things they feel like they have control over. Just a ton of positive reinforcement, reward and praise for doing it and try again when the dust settles a bit more. Give yourself grace!
When should you stop diapers at night? I’m so afraid of accidents in bed. Because kids under 5 have smaller bladders and less muscle, it's harder for them to go all night and stay dry. Frankly, Kai is still in a nighttime pull up. I have asked mamas the same question and some have been really consistent with "sleep potty-ing". They would limit water intake, put their kiddos on the potty in the middle of the night in a sleepy haze. I hear if the child wakes up with a dry diaper for several weeks, it's time to try. Honestly, with a newborn at home for us, sleep is so rare. I'd be okay with Kai wearing a night time diaper until she's 16 (jk jk).
Bedtime tips? Do you use a nighttime pull up? Bed wetting is inevitable when potty training. Remember that their bladder is just small to be able to hold it in for 10-12 hours at night. Putting on a pull-up at night worked for us. If you notice that they are waking up with dry diapers a few days in a row, it may be time to transition letting them keep their undies on throughout the night. Do not make it a big deal if they do wet the bed. Change their PJs and sheets without any scolding since it is beyond their control and they’re still learning. It’s a learning process for everyone!
